Strategies & techniques For Managing Conflict
It is important to know yourself before trying to understand someone else.
“Being grounded means being down to earth, having gravity or weight. I know where I stand, and I know what I stand for: that is ground. The centered and grounded leader has stability and a sense of self.”
(Heider, 1986)
Leaders use various ways to help individuals and systems move through change. Sometimes these ways may provoke tension and angst in others, resulting in conflict. It is important to know yourself and where you stand in order to effectively connect with others. Consider reflecting on the following points.
* Our perspectives shape our relationships. When we are not conscious about the perspectives we hold, we can confuse our perspective for the truth.
* Our perspectives influence our assumptions and the stories we tell ourselves. Assumptions and the stories we create from them can then distort the way we see others and create disconnection.
* These assumptions and stories then drive our actions and reactions, creating further disconnection.
* Great leaders are impeccable about discerning fact from assumption.
* The most powerful connecting perspective is seeing another as a human being.
* Common disconnecting perspectives are seeing the other as a barrier, vehicle and irrelevant.
* Awareness of how we are seeing others enables us to choose to see them as human beings and recover so we are able to reconnect.
* Know your values and what you stand for.
(Fire Inside Leadership, 2010-2011)
Ask yourself the following questions.
What are my strengths & limitations, where am I vulnerable?
What are my prejudices & biases?
What kind of environment do I create in negotiations? How would I define fair?
What are my needs during negotiation?
“Being grounded means being down to earth, having gravity or weight. I know where I stand, and I know what I stand for: that is ground. The centered and grounded leader has stability and a sense of self.”
(Heider, 1986)
Leaders use various ways to help individuals and systems move through change. Sometimes these ways may provoke tension and angst in others, resulting in conflict. It is important to know yourself and where you stand in order to effectively connect with others. Consider reflecting on the following points.
* Our perspectives shape our relationships. When we are not conscious about the perspectives we hold, we can confuse our perspective for the truth.
* Our perspectives influence our assumptions and the stories we tell ourselves. Assumptions and the stories we create from them can then distort the way we see others and create disconnection.
* These assumptions and stories then drive our actions and reactions, creating further disconnection.
* Great leaders are impeccable about discerning fact from assumption.
* The most powerful connecting perspective is seeing another as a human being.
* Common disconnecting perspectives are seeing the other as a barrier, vehicle and irrelevant.
* Awareness of how we are seeing others enables us to choose to see them as human beings and recover so we are able to reconnect.
* Know your values and what you stand for.
(Fire Inside Leadership, 2010-2011)
Ask yourself the following questions.
What are my strengths & limitations, where am I vulnerable?
What are my prejudices & biases?
What kind of environment do I create in negotiations? How would I define fair?
What are my needs during negotiation?
minimizing conflict
“However desirable a change, it always has an impact and requires some change in behaviour from those involved” (Skelton-Green, Simpson,
& Scott, 2007, p. 2). It is important to understand that there is a difference between organizational change and transition. Bridges and
Mitchell (2000), define change as something external. It is something that will be altered, perhaps a policy. While they define transition as something that is internal or a
“psycholgical reorientation that people have to go through before the change can work” (Bridges & Mitchell, 2000, para 6). Therefore, transition occurs with every change but it is not automatic. Leaders must learn how to help people with the transition before change will happen. Leaders who use a
collaborative approach and involve all the stake holders will promote innovation and minimize conflict.
The following are additional resources for you to explore on transforming organizations and becoming a conscious leader.
& Scott, 2007, p. 2). It is important to understand that there is a difference between organizational change and transition. Bridges and
Mitchell (2000), define change as something external. It is something that will be altered, perhaps a policy. While they define transition as something that is internal or a
“psycholgical reorientation that people have to go through before the change can work” (Bridges & Mitchell, 2000, para 6). Therefore, transition occurs with every change but it is not automatic. Leaders must learn how to help people with the transition before change will happen. Leaders who use a
collaborative approach and involve all the stake holders will promote innovation and minimize conflict.
The following are additional resources for you to explore on transforming organizations and becoming a conscious leader.
Remember....
Active listening skills are essential in resolving conflict! What level of listening do you practice?
Level One: Internal Listening, attention is on me. Focus is on my opinions and judgements. Waiting for my turn to speak, unaware of speaker or impact
Level two listening: Focused Listening.Focus attention fully on the speaker, What’s behind the words.Speaker feels heard. Example: Parent and sick child.
Level three listening: Global listening.Listening 360 degrees.Awareness of speaker, emotional field & environment. Uses intuition Example: Comedian
(Fire Inside Leadership, 2010-2011)
When you are interacting with a coworker, put your pencil down, make eye contact, clarify what you are hearing, paraphrase, ask and encourage for more information, and reflect.
Be nonjudgmental, clear assumptions and curious. What are the facts? Am I being objective? What am I making up? What else do I need to know?
Safety-when people feel unsafe they feel one of two things: You don't respect them as a human being or you don't care about their goals (Patterson, Grenny, McMillan, Switzler, 2005). Address conflict in private. Do not address individual problems at meetings.
Respect- find value in others, what are their strengths? Acknowledge ideas and solutions..."that is a good solution". Avoid using the word "but" and try using the word "and"
Giving and Receiving Feedback
*When leaders are grounded they are able to receive feedback as a gift that will serve their growth.
*When feedback is delivered from a genuine desire to serve the growth of another individual, rather than from personal frustration, a need to be right or a need to make another wrong, it is much more likely to be received well.
*Resist the urge to respond or explain, receive feedback and let it land, be curious, ask questions to understand and take time to reflect on it. Resist the urge to respond to feedback about the feedback.
(Fire Inside Leadership, 2010-2011; Paterson, Grenny, McMillan & Switzler, 2005)
Understand Team Dynamics
*Teams are a living dynamic system in organizations that produce results.
*Teams have a common purpose, articulated goals, clear roles and accountability for results
*High performing teams pay as much attention to how they work together as to what they do together
*There is a clear connection between sustained productivity and a positive environment
*Awareness and skill are key to improved team engagement, cohesion and performance
*Leaders create the conditions for high performing teams
(Fire Inside Leadership, 2010-2011; Paterson, Grenny, McMillan & Switzler, 2005)
Johansen (2012), describes Conflict Management and makes recommendations for the nurse manager to strategically enhance client care and safety:
#1 Engage in Discussion- Discuss conflict and attempt to get at the root of the problem. Create a non-punitive environment and use techniques such as role playing and case scenarios.
#2 Engage in Coaching- Encourage staff to engage in effective conflict resolution themselves.
#3 Identify Potential Conflicts- Ensure policies and procedures are in place to encourage collaborative practice and ensure respectful workplaces.
#4 Education and Training- Staff need education in conflict and conflict management techniques.
Level One: Internal Listening, attention is on me. Focus is on my opinions and judgements. Waiting for my turn to speak, unaware of speaker or impact
Level two listening: Focused Listening.Focus attention fully on the speaker, What’s behind the words.Speaker feels heard. Example: Parent and sick child.
Level three listening: Global listening.Listening 360 degrees.Awareness of speaker, emotional field & environment. Uses intuition Example: Comedian
(Fire Inside Leadership, 2010-2011)
When you are interacting with a coworker, put your pencil down, make eye contact, clarify what you are hearing, paraphrase, ask and encourage for more information, and reflect.
Be nonjudgmental, clear assumptions and curious. What are the facts? Am I being objective? What am I making up? What else do I need to know?
Safety-when people feel unsafe they feel one of two things: You don't respect them as a human being or you don't care about their goals (Patterson, Grenny, McMillan, Switzler, 2005). Address conflict in private. Do not address individual problems at meetings.
Respect- find value in others, what are their strengths? Acknowledge ideas and solutions..."that is a good solution". Avoid using the word "but" and try using the word "and"
Giving and Receiving Feedback
*When leaders are grounded they are able to receive feedback as a gift that will serve their growth.
*When feedback is delivered from a genuine desire to serve the growth of another individual, rather than from personal frustration, a need to be right or a need to make another wrong, it is much more likely to be received well.
*Resist the urge to respond or explain, receive feedback and let it land, be curious, ask questions to understand and take time to reflect on it. Resist the urge to respond to feedback about the feedback.
(Fire Inside Leadership, 2010-2011; Paterson, Grenny, McMillan & Switzler, 2005)
Understand Team Dynamics
*Teams are a living dynamic system in organizations that produce results.
*Teams have a common purpose, articulated goals, clear roles and accountability for results
*High performing teams pay as much attention to how they work together as to what they do together
*There is a clear connection between sustained productivity and a positive environment
*Awareness and skill are key to improved team engagement, cohesion and performance
*Leaders create the conditions for high performing teams
(Fire Inside Leadership, 2010-2011; Paterson, Grenny, McMillan & Switzler, 2005)
Johansen (2012), describes Conflict Management and makes recommendations for the nurse manager to strategically enhance client care and safety:
#1 Engage in Discussion- Discuss conflict and attempt to get at the root of the problem. Create a non-punitive environment and use techniques such as role playing and case scenarios.
#2 Engage in Coaching- Encourage staff to engage in effective conflict resolution themselves.
#3 Identify Potential Conflicts- Ensure policies and procedures are in place to encourage collaborative practice and ensure respectful workplaces.
#4 Education and Training- Staff need education in conflict and conflict management techniques.
One of the fundamental components of High Performing teams is TRUST!!
Behaviours that create trust are in the following slideshow
(Covey, 2008)
Motivational interviewing
Motivational Interviewing is....
• A client-centred counselling method for enhancing internal motivation to change behaviours that has been developed
approximately 30 years ago by William Miller and Stephen Rollnick (Canadian Centre on Substance Abuse, 2007).
• The technique focuses on the individual’s values and goals and relies on this to enhance individual behavioral changes
(Gill, 2010).
• Reflection, active listening and open-ended questioning are important skills needed in motivational interviewing (Gill, 2010).
Know what is happening
When you cannot see what is happening in a group, do not stare harder. Relax and look gently with your inner eye.
When you do not understand what a person is saying, do not grasp every word. Give up your efforts. Become silent inside and listen with your deepest self.
When you are puzzled by what you see or hear, do not strive to figure things out. Stand back for a moment and become calm. When a
person is calm complex events appear simple.
To know what is happening, push less, open out and be aware. See without staring. Listen quietly rather than listening hard. Use intuition and reflection rather than trying to figure things out. The more you can let go of trying, the more open and receptive you become, the more easily you will know what is happening.
Stay in the present. The present is more available than either memories of the past or fantasies of the future. So attend to what is happening now.
(Heider , 1986)
When you do not understand what a person is saying, do not grasp every word. Give up your efforts. Become silent inside and listen with your deepest self.
When you are puzzled by what you see or hear, do not strive to figure things out. Stand back for a moment and become calm. When a
person is calm complex events appear simple.
To know what is happening, push less, open out and be aware. See without staring. Listen quietly rather than listening hard. Use intuition and reflection rather than trying to figure things out. The more you can let go of trying, the more open and receptive you become, the more easily you will know what is happening.
Stay in the present. The present is more available than either memories of the past or fantasies of the future. So attend to what is happening now.
(Heider , 1986)
Take time to analyze your conflict. If you and your coworker have been having the same disagreement for quite some time. If you have tried to use different techniques to work toward a resolution and nothing seems to work, perhaps it may help to write it down! Try using the evaporating cloud strategy to solve your problem. Click on More at the top of this page to find out how to apply the evaporating cloud tool to resolving your problem.